Josh and I just returned from our second trip to South Dakota this summer. I can only wish it would have been for better reasons. Sometimes trips like these take you on a path you didn't see for yourself. We can only learn from these and try to move forward as there is no going back. Some of these lessons I have learned before and try to help others understand.
One is you should never take anyone for granted. This is a very hard lesson as it is hard to slow down and take time to cherish the people around you. Our society has us wrapped up in work and various other things that our doorway to our loved ones is half way closed. After Denise passed this lesson slapped me pretty hard in the face. I was a young adult who was too self centered to get off my butt and spend more time with my sister. I will always regret this. I vowed from that day to never leave my brothers alone even if they got annoyed with me. I do have to say as these 6 years have gone by that I have lacked some, but hope to get back on the wagon.
I hate funerals and memorials so much because they are the stop sign in a life that could have gone on. However, funerals and memorials give us that open doorway to see our loved ones and make a change. One of the other things we must learn is how to function without this person. As we grow and expand our lives we gather people along the way, so when one is missing everything feels wrong. This process of moving forward is one that I have not done yet, but have been one this road for a while. I can only hope to help Josh and provide the comfort and understanding he needs to heal.
The final thing I have learned is no matter what you never forget these people, and their memories have an odd way of popping up. The other day before Josh and I left we cleaned through some clutter in our book shelves and I came across some photos. There laid a photo of my uncle Jim. It was at Josh and my wedding. He was asleep in a chair at the bottom of the stairs, eyes closed and a peaceful look upon his face. It is one of my favorite photos of that day. I looked at it and felt very happy that I knew him. I have to think that sometimes things happen for a reason. Like finding a photo that should have been in our wedding album where I placed it, but ending up somewhere else.
As I remind Josh often, it is all about the little things in life. We were very lucky to have been able to make the trip to South Dakota in July, and that Josh's dad met Emma. We, as you know, are very proud of her and it was not a shock to us when Jim (Josh's dad) had very good things to say about her in the little amount of time they spent together. His memorial on the 15th was very nice. The song Amazing Grace was sung, a flag was presented, and some meaningful words were spoken.
So here is to James (Jim) Donald Haar.
